Friday, April 30, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
My colleagues make me feel special (and not fat) every day:
"You look great."
"Look how cute you are."
"You haven't gained a pound."
My students, on the other hand, have a different approach:
"Your belly is getting big."
"Did you have the baby yet?"
And my favorite:
"WHOA, she's getting real fat!"
eco-friendly shoes represent our love of UK football
intense dislike of the University of Louisville.
Thank you, Tommy and Lindsey, for this special gift!
Check out the "handmade goodness" @ http://www.etsy.com/shop/frannyandjune.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Origin: Old English
Meaning: proud estate
Meaning: famous brilliance
Origin: Polish (derived from "Haydockski")
Meaning: Much like how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop, "the world may never know."
Monday, April 5, 2010
8. I don’t care if you adored your grandmother and she left you millions, that is no excuse to name a child “Ethel” or “Mabel.” Same goes for names like “Irwin,” and “Harold.”
9. Do not dip into Greek or Roman mythology for names.
10. Do not give your child a single syllable middle name.
Imagine this: You are standing in the driveway and your child refuses to get out of the car. You are fed up. So you shout, “LEE SHEA, if you don’t get out of this car right now . . . .”
Give it a try. Practice that. It sounds like somebody just got off the boat from Appalachia. Names like Bobbi Sue, Donnie Bob, Lennie Bart, David Lee (you get the picture) create images of a life of no shoes, no green vegetables and no dental care. You must avoid this baby name pitfall at all costs.
Think how much cooler it would be to hang out the back door and scream “FOSTER DOODLE HAYDOCK, I MEAN IT AND I’M NOT TELLING YOU AGAIN: GET OUT OF THAT POOL!”
Now, doesn’t that sound classy?
11. You must also take great care when choosing the name to consider what kind of monogram you’re creating. Be careful not to create any three-letter words that can be used against the child. Much caution must be used when choosing first or middle names that start with a vowel:
Annabeth Sherman Smith
Elizabeth Layton Frasier
Brooks Allan Davis
David Isaac Miller
Who wants a pendant with the letters ASS? Who wants to wear a bathrobe monogrammed BAD? You must think these things through carefully!
12. Never, ever choose meteorological conditions for use as a first or middle name.
Misty Dawn, Misty Rain, Summer Rain, Autumn Rain, Dewdrop Dawn and the like are names reserved for use by strippers. In addition to not using these names for your own children, you should also forbid male offspring from dating thus-named individuals. It can only end badly.
Further, Rule 2 (regarding the use of mono-syllabic) middle names is violated in each of these examples.
13. Never be cute. Names like Robert Roberts, James Jamison, Alan Allen, Hayley Haydock, are not funny.
Rules of the (Baby-Naming) Game:
One 'Do' and a Dozen 'Don'ts', Part One
by Patti Charron (Writer, Editor, Soon-To-Be Grandmother, and of course, Baby Name Guru)
1. Consider the phonetics. Choose a name that, along with the middle name and surname, offers a combination of soft and hard consonant sounds as well as long and short vowels. “Charron,” for example, has soft sounds. “Taylor” has a sharp T, a long A, which provides nice contrast. Similar thinking was in play when “Kelsey” and “Hayley” were chosen.
2. Do not name your child after a character on a soap opera. (I would like to mention here that the proliferation of Taylors, Kelseys and Hayleys onto the soap opera scene started AFTER you all were born, not before. You will note that each of you is quite old in the category. Most Taylors, Kelseys and Hayleys are under the age of seven.
3. NEVER EVER, and I cannot stress this enough, saddle a child with the name of a Mother Goose character or a serial killer.
4. Never add extra vowels to a name to make it “unique.” That’s just stupid. If the kid isn’t unique on his own, giving him/her a name that no one can ever spell correctly isn’t going to make a bit of difference. Stick to traditional spellings.
5. Never assign a name that is associated with a particular nationality that you are not.
6. Do not name a child after fruits, vegetables and other foodstuffs. Flower names are okay: Poppy, Daisy, etc.
7. Don’t make up names that no one can say or spell. That’s just passive-aggressive and should be worked out in therapy, not through a child.
NEXT UP: Part Deux