Rules of the (Baby-Naming) Game:
One 'Do' and a Dozen 'Don'ts', Part One
by Patti Charron (Writer, Editor, Soon-To-Be Grandmother, and of course, Baby Name Guru)
1. Consider the phonetics. Choose a name that, along with the middle name and surname, offers a combination of soft and hard consonant sounds as well as long and short vowels. “Charron,” for example, has soft sounds. “Taylor” has a sharp T, a long A, which provides nice contrast. Similar thinking was in play when “Kelsey” and “Hayley” were chosen.
2. Do not name your child after a character on a soap opera. (I would like to mention here that the proliferation of Taylors, Kelseys and Hayleys onto the soap opera scene started AFTER you all were born, not before. You will note that each of you is quite old in the category. Most Taylors, Kelseys and Hayleys are under the age of seven.
3. NEVER EVER, and I cannot stress this enough, saddle a child with the name of a Mother Goose character or a serial killer.
4. Never add extra vowels to a name to make it “unique.” That’s just stupid. If the kid isn’t unique on his own, giving him/her a name that no one can ever spell correctly isn’t going to make a bit of difference. Stick to traditional spellings.
5. Never assign a name that is associated with a particular nationality that you are not.
6. Do not name a child after fruits, vegetables and other foodstuffs. Flower names are okay: Poppy, Daisy, etc.
7. Don’t make up names that no one can say or spell. That’s just passive-aggressive and should be worked out in therapy, not through a child.
NEXT UP: Part Deux